Black Canyon makes an...(ahem)..."impression" on the judges...

Black Canyon auditioned for the West Michigan Bluegrass Music Association and we were hired to play their spring 2008 Mayfest bluegrass festival. We were especially proud of the judging results that were shared with us, and we want to let you take a look at the response that we elicited from the judges.

If you click on any of the judge's names, their section will expand out and you can then see what was written on that judge's score sheet. (You can click the judge's name again to shrink that area.) The three images below are actual screen shots of those original score sheets; feel free to click on the score sheets to see the image in a larger size.

(Just in case the humor is lost on you, keep in mind that we were teased in good harmless fun!)

Click: Judge #1

(For the rating of each item, 1 is the lowest score and 10 is the highest score)

Appearance score: 2

Comments: It appears that this group waited for the last day of the barn sale to select the the clothes they wore. Mandolin player should check his zipper before he goes on stage.

Professionalism score: 1

Comments: I don't think these guys could even pronounce the word professionalism. I hope these old timers someday find something they are good at.

Musicianship score: 2

Comments: Arthritis and carpal tunnel are showing just how they affect the musicians in this group. More (or different) medications might help.

Vocal score: 2

Comments: Again, maybe medications would help. I didn't know Alvin, Simon, & Theodore gave voice lessons. These guys should consider switching vocal coaches.

Entertainment value score: 10!!!

Comments: Exceptional! I never laughed so hard in my life. Best entertainment all weekend. But after it was over, sympathy set in.

Additional comments: So much to say, but not enough room here. Guitar, banjo, and bass were good. Not sure what the other guy was even doing.

Click: Judge #2

(For the rating of each item, 1 is the lowest score and 10 is the highest score)

Appearance score: 2

Comments: Why is the mandolin player wearing a colostomy bag?

Professionalism score: 2

Comments: "Lick" is supposed to be a musical term!

Musicianship score: 1

Comments: To say this band sucked would be an insult to the bands who really do suck! Never heard a band play just one chord for an entire set before!

Vocal score: -1

Comments: WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?! My ears are bleeding!

Entertainment value score: 1

Comments: I like to see Nascar wrecks, so I liked watching this band. Glad to see they hired the old guy on mandolin, keeping him occupied so the streets are safer.

Additional comments: Words can't really describe the icky feeling I got listening to this band, kind of like when your uncle touches you in your happy place.

Click: Judge #3

(For the rating of each item, 1 is the lowest score and 10 is the highest score)

Appearance score: 1

Comments: The mandolin player should lose the tennis shoes!

Professionalism score: 1

Comments: The mandolin player needs to start and stop the songs with the rest of the band. Please act like you've attempted to play music before.

Musicianship score: 1

Comments: Mandolin player needs lessons. No sense of timing. Is he just learning?!

Vocal score: 1

Comments: Mandolin player needs to lose the "mushmouth". He can't carry a tune in a wheelbarrow.

Entertainment value score: 1

Comments: I was not impressed with this band at all, no way no how. Find another occupation!

Additional comments: Were they all playing the same songs? Mandolin player seems lost most of the time.